Parents vs. Teenagers
Published on Monday, December 5th, 2011 at 7:48 pm and is filed under General Psychology
The birth of a child is an occasion of excitement and joy for parents. Also is an opportunity to show their state of maturity (to assume the responsibility for the child). Parents should care equally, both physical and material well-being and emotional development, moral and spiritual development of their child. Also, they should always strive to give children positive examples, both by word and gesture and action, especially because in early years, they are the only models in children’s eyes.
Parents should be prepared and understand that as years pass, children become teenagers and can occur unpredictable, bizarre, unrecognizable behaviors if they are not treated with understanding and respect.
Most often, problems arise when teenager expresses the need of independence, privacy, freedom and parents – on the authority, control, protection. Any responsible parent wants a good child to share his thoughts and secrets, to be studious, to not waste his time at the computer for hours: an ideal child.
Teens also want perfect parents who will take seriously and won’t treat them like children, to not control at every step, to not compare them with other teens – “model” of their age that won’t limit their time for leisure or with friends, who won’t check their personal things or browse the journal and the most important, they want that their parents to not blackmail them emotionally “I don’t love you if you don’t do as I said…!”
Parents love their children and face the fear that they will not be able to do everything to success in life. Therefore, to ensure success they would prefer to be those who decide instead of children. However, a teenager needs to develop “to grow” even in his own eyes (to develop self-esteem), to try their strength, composure and why not to learn from their mistakes. So, parents should talk calm but firmly with teenagers, to win trust and respect, to present an opinion without making him to follow it, showing like this the confidence in his ability to decide. Parents should give their children more freedom, gradually, as evidence that they are more responsible and became mature.
Parents should talk with their children about future plans, showing interest and understanding for their needs. Whatever age they are, children need to be praised and encouraged by parents. Criticism, nagging for all types of little things can be harmful. Family members always learn how to behave with each other. It is important that your teen cherish and respect parents. Don’t make distance between you thus they gain their independence. Friends are very important, especially at this age, but their existence can’t replace family presence. This can’t meet the need of teen for family attachment neither the affiliation. Emotional stability of future adults, who are today’s teenagers, is highly dependent on this condition: to know, to be sure of his “roots”, to cope “storms” over years. Parents are required to supervise and guide children to avoid dance and inconvenience. Parents must learn to love unconditionally, as they loved them from the beginning. They must accept them and help them whenever they need it. If they do it their children will count on them. They should think for a moment that perhaps their door is the last their children dared to knock.